Weight atop my shoulders

There is a general weight atop my shoulders now that I feel won’t be lifted until after the midterm. I have been studying and learning this material as best I can, but there hasn’t been any way thus far for me to gauge how well I know all this stuff. No quizzes, or projects, or anything like that. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I need homework with grades! I need quizzes! Right now the midterm is this big gray blob in my mind; I know of several things that will be on it, but it’s not defined in my mind yet. I’m terribly afraid of getting there and there being things on it that I didn’t study, or point outs that I’m unfamiliar with. I want very badly to get an A on this first test, because that will make getting an A in the class all the easier. But I just have this nagging feeling inside that I just won’t be prepared for the test. My only consolation thus far has been that reminder in the back of my mind telling me that this isn’t a Harbert class (undergrad professor who was graduate-level tough, all the time). Instead this class really is about memorization and regurgitation. A little bit of it is application (like, “if this part of the nervous system breaks, what would happen?”, etc), but not much.

Only time will tell, though. But until then, the weight on my shoulders gets heavier and heavier as I get closer to that midterm.

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